Dating

Why is dating so complicated?

I went on a date the other day for the first time in a long time. After my last date I practically swore off guys and dove into my school work, and building up my friendships. I just didn’t want to go through it again and have all these confused, mixed feelings. It’s a complicated process. What do I wear? What do I talk about? Am I going to embarrass myself? What if he thinks I’m a freak? The list could go on….

The most important question… Will there be another date?

First off, after your date on your drive home or while lying in bed at night you need to ask yourself these questions:

1. Do I see a future with him?

I’ve read somewhere that after 30 seconds of conversation with someone, women know if they’re interested or not. I believe that’s true. When talking with someone you find out if you have anything in common, and if you don’t then you might want to turn the other way because your future will be very dull and boring.

By saying, “Do I see a future with him?” I don’t want anyone to start thinking about marriage.I’m not talking about that kind of future, let’s not jump the gun too fast. I’m talking about do you see yourself going out a second time or potentially in the future do you see him/her meeting your parents/family?

2. Was I thinking about someone else while on the date? 

Do you think of someone while he’s talking? Do you think “oh, *so and so* wouldn’t do that.” Or “*so and so* would have opened that door for me.” If you’re still thinking of someone else, possibly an ex, then you need to take a step back and realize that you’re probably not ready to start dating yet. Don’t use a guy for a rebound or to make your ex jealous. That’s not fair to the guy you’re going on a date with.

3. Did we have anything in common?

They say opposites attract but if you have absolutely nothing in common what do you plan on talking about in the future? Don’t think “I could get into that” because more than likely you won’t. Don’t ever change for a guy anyway. I think it’s great when significant others support each other in the things their partner loves even if they don’t love it, but I’m sure they have other things in common. Having things in common is what builds bonding.

4. Did he make me laugh? 

If he made you laugh that’s a really good sign. Chalk one up in the pros column (Just kidding don’t actually make a pro and con list). Having someone you can laugh with is an obvious must in a relationship. You need someone you can have fun with and who’s going to be there to cheer you up, and make you laugh when the fun is sucked away on those dreary days. If he can make you laugh more than once in the time span of a short date then odds are he will be able to make you laugh a lot more in the future.

5. Did he constantly talk about himself?

No one needs a self-centered guy. If he asks about you then he cares and wants to get to know you. The goal on a date is to switch up who asks questions that way you both get to know each other pretty well. If he ends up just talking about himself the whole time then I would say he’s not worth your time.

Those are the questions I asked myself after my date. Are there any different questions you ask yourself? Or how do you decide if there will be a second date or not?  

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